16 January 2010
Have You Met Diana?
I think I made a dear friend angry or fearful of me tonight but, at the same time, I made a new friend with whom I hope to have powerful and significant conversations. Life is a gamble. We never know what is coming at us. I hope my friend will forgive me.
I have spent the last several weeks thinking from time to time that I would lose my father. The unthinkable. Refusing to believe that it would happen, but in the back of my mind, completely prepared for the possibility. Fierce and strong, hiding tears until I was alone. Now that he is home and better, for now, I can concentrate on life.
Today was a very good day. I haven't thrown my head back and laughed for no good reason in a very long time. Today I did. When I ran five miles, I laughed. When I treated myself to a dozen roses, I laughed. When I sat in the chair on the porch and listened to my neighbor's party music earlier tonight, I laughed. I cannot pretend that life is not good. It is everything. It is who I am. You can say that I see only the bright side of life but you would be so very wrong. I have seen the dark, empty side of life. It's ugly and painful but it dropped me here, where all of you are and I will be forever grateful for that. You are, all of you, my lifesavers.
So, as I looked around while I sat in the big chair on the porch at 9:00PM, I noticed a few things. Peace, cool fresh air, a happy person waving to me three floors down, stars in the sky, the aroma of my favorite ACID cigar as I puffed away, the taste of my favorite blood-red wine, the thoughts of friends far away and my wishing that I could be with them and the knowledge that I am happy and in the place where I am meant to be at this time.
When you read this, look around slowly. And then, tell me what you see, where you are. I really would like to see what you see, right at that moment. Tell me please, what is making you happy now.
Posted by Diana Lee