18 April 2010

Just Around the Bend

Today was an odd day. I was unsettled and even shaky at one time. Anxious with a sense of something waiting. I couldn't differentiate between anticipation or dread. Or, as I said to a friend "something is in the air". I went outside to sit in the cool afternoon for a while, to clear my head. And it came to me. Change is coming. I don't know why I didn't see it immediately, it's been taking place for months. And then, I was calm.

In the past I've always seen change as a very bad thing. No, don't take me out of my norm, out of what I know. Resistant and unwilling to accept it, I would close my eyes and decide that if I didn't see it coming it never would. Blithely attempting to keep everything as is, don't rock the boat, don't ruffle the feathers.

No longer. Change is the portent of something new or an improvement on something old. Anything that remains stagnant will eventually die. Change is a necessity, a harbinger of hope and a reason to wake up every day. It isn't always a pleasant journey. It can take a toll on life, psyche, love and trust. It can make you ill and make you giddy. It can increase your fears and raise your expectations. But in the end, no matter what, it can't be stopped.

My life has become something belonging more to me because of change. It's opened up worlds to me that were not apparent years ago. It's granted the opportunity to be the right "me" finally, the one I've been trying to find for a very long time. Other changes took that "me" away and newer ones have now given it back.

So, my advice? Let it come, welcome it, struggle through it and then enjoy the benefits of it. I'm looking forward very much to what it is that's waiting just around the bend.

2 comments:

  1. I remember a street person recently said to me, "can you spare some change sir." Of which I replied, "yes, ..I know I can..." Chuga..chuga chuga..."ALL ABOARD.." :~)

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