from my lips
his name,
rouged and plump
glistening
like sex
his name
from my lips,
urgent mantra
liberated alphabet
surging
from my lips
his name,
raven-winged
river-birthed
spate of tides
his name
from my lips,
velvet
storms
slipping
from my lips,
his name
oh this is good.
ReplyDeleterouged and plump
glistening
like sex
and..
raven-winged
river-birthed
spate of tides
the repetition of 'his name' is so effective in the minimalist melange which appears more as a dropped, unbroken column of terse lines... excellent, Di. I really should visit you more. You are so modest. I tag you in a zillion notes (I'm not sure how often you see my blog because you don't comment there).. but I know you're a big supporter of my work and I apologise for not paying you the due respect in terms of reading you... if it were a chore it might be different... I'm reminded what a good poet you are. We forget sometimes when someone has such humility in the public announcement of their wonderful work. That would be, not much public announcement... you should splash your poetry around the social networks more... lovely to visit, my friend. I hope your spirits are picking up after the family tragedy. I'm very sorry for your loss.
Warmly
Luke xx
Thank you Luke, for your lovely critique. It's always a pleasure when you stop by. I do visit your blog as well, but I always look for your tags on FB. I'm terrible at self-promotion :-)But if a piece gets a little notice, such as yours, I'm happy. And thanks for your good wishes, my friend.
ReplyDeleteYes, I'm with Luke, ths is a great one. Photo too.
ReplyDeleteAnd do I detect a little blind beat in "velvet storms? " Whenever I use velvet now, I grant silent tribute to him.
But of course, urgent mantra / liberated alphabet -- that will henceforth warrant tribute to you, M'dam.
Whew!
Thank you so much Scott. Yes,the blind beat is woven through much of my writing. He is a constant inspiration. I'm honored by your thoughts, as I am a constant fan of your writing as well x
ReplyDelete