07 July 2013

Interim


fevered dreams
abandoned me
thankfully,
left me
to my own devices,
and i found myself
wakened
from this somnolence
pressed
to curvilinear ridges
to the hard insistence
of cool rough planes
unfurled
beneath me
my fingers
stretched
to grasp every surface inch
of raw hibernal pleasure
you've been storing up
since winter
cached
until i wanted you
in my fevered dreams

6 comments:

  1. Ma'am, there is plenty to love in this poem, but let your lines run on sometimes. There is nothing "modern" about short lines and sometimes the heart wants to follow the words further, so let the lines breathe with the rhythm of breath.

    I hope you will forgive the impertinence, but i speak as one poet to another x

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    1. Thank you for your critique. I wasn't attempting to be 'modern'. It's just the way the words fell and I have so few these days that getting these down was the best I could do :-)

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  2. I respect your "few words" Ma'am, and I shouldn't be so harsh. My apologies x

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    Replies
    1. I didn't take your critique as harsh :-) We all have our own 'voice'. For me it's often the old adage that "less is more". I've written longer pieces, with more description and emotion and you reminded me that I can write in that voice. This one, as I said, was a quick birthing and now it's on its own. No worries x

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  3. Sensual verbal imagery, made me feel the heat........thanks for the follow.

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    Replies
    1. Thanks so much for reading and commenting. I look forward to reading more of you.

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